A Day in the Life of a Meals on Wheels Cook

4:30 a.m. Get violently jolted awake by your alarm. It's still pitch black outside. Step over the snoring dogs. Make coffee. Sit with coffee for at least 30 minutes before brain starts to function. 

5:30 a.m. Leave for work, often while it's still dark. Stare in amazement at the runners wearing headlamps, voluntarily getting in their morning miles. Question their life choices.

6:00 a.m. Arrive at work. Grunt a good morning to your coworkers. Start the opening chores by turning on the sealing machine and warmers, filling sanitizer buckets, and getting everything ready for the day. Grab today's recipes and calculate quantities based on the number of clients. Pray to the Oven Gods that the oven decides to cooperate today.

6:30 a.m. Say good morning to volunteer coordinator, Michelle, and stare in amazement of her magnificent Farrah Fawcett hair. Make more coffee.

6:30 a.m. Open cans. Gather ingredients. Become best friends with the tilt skillet, steamer, mixer, ovens, and every other piece of kitchen equipment. Bribe them with an extra sanitizer rinse so they'll sparkle and hopefully behave. Start cooking!

8:00 a.m. Watch the clock and hope the community service dishwasher shows up. If they do, celebrate with a little happy dance. If they don't, spend a minute stomping around the kitchen dramatically complaining to your coworkers.

8:00 a.m. Greet the kitchen volunteers. Hooray! Appreciate the smiling faces and dependable help. 

8:15 a.m. Inevitably end up wearing flour, cornstarch, sauce, grease, goo or some mysterious combination of them all.

8:30 a.m. Today's meal is mostly finished. Hope you made enough, but not too much. Hope your math was right while already suspecting it probably wasn't. Math follows different rules in the Meals on Wheels Kitchen Parallel Universe.

8:30 a.m. Clean up. Give the tilt skillets a reassuring belly rub so they know they're appreciated. Start prepping tomorrow's meals. Try not to cut yourself. Take regular 15-second stretch breaks because your back is filing complaints.

9:00 a.m. Break time! Grab a sweet from the treat fridge and go lie on the floor in Brandi, Sally, and Donna's office because cooking in bulk is an extreme sport.

9:10 a.m. Run into office staff on the way back. Get distracted gabbing. Return from break a few minutes late.

9:20 a.m. Finish prep. If the dishwasher never showed up, jump in and help tackle the dishes. Find random kitchen chores to keep busy until service starts at 10:30.

10:30 a.m. Service time! Pack meals. This part is basically a repetitive-motion video game that lasts nearly an hour. Make small talk with volunteers so you don't zone out. Also, try not to dump six gallons of hot food on yourself while swapping pans in and out of the warmer.

11:30 a.m. Service is over. Finally, lunch! Set everything up for the staff and any volunteers staying to eat. Since you've been starving for the last hour, ring the lunch bell, serve yourself immediately, and head to the lobby. Your kitchen coworkers usually take a smoke break first, so you've nearly finished your meal by the time they sit down with full plates. Have a two-second internal debate about grabbing another sweet from the treat fridge. The "yes" side wins every time.

11:45 a.m. Return to your favorite spot on the office floor. Continue campaigning for Meals on Wheels to invest in an office couch. Continue being ignored.

12:00 p.m. Drag yourself back to the kitchen, operating at approximately 50% speed. Pack frozen meals, put away leftovers, wipe and sanitize every surface, sweep the floors, take out the trash, and switch the sealing machine plates for tomorrow's fruit cups.

12:45 p.m. Do your daily building chore. Hope it's not bathroom duty. Finish the last cleaning tasks and chat with the boss while wrapping up the day.

1:00 p.m. Get excited because you're almost done and your couch is calling your name.

1:30 p.m. Finally get home. Let the dogs enthusiastically inspect, and lick, the day's food remnants off your work shoes. You've earned it.